Chasing happy

Last night I went to yoga, as I do every Thursday evening, but last night was different, and special and really helpful to my journey of chasing happy…

Breathing In, breathing out, breathing, sweating, moving, breathing… More breathing, and then, halfway through a sun salute..I had the most incredible Aha! Moment.

My wonderful instructor made mention of  “staying present”.

Now these are words we hear in class all the time, they are the words I use to instruct and guide my students as they journey through a yoga class, but it was how it was said this time, in that perfect moment of breath, sweat, breath combination.

I wasn’t really present at all, I didn’t want to be present,  I was working things out, I was conducting a silent self monologue, I was struggling, pushing, chasing the elusive happiness.

When she said be “here”, my initial response was to chase a little harder. I Wanted to ran away, and get out of my body, and off the mat, and definitely, very very far away from this place she was telling me to be.

But I didn’t.

I stayed.

I let her words resonate with my soul, and I stayed in the present with all my sweat, and all my thoughts, and all my feelings, and instead of panicking, or blocking out, or running away, or tuning out, I decided to listen to my breath, reconnect with that Inhale, and exhale, and do you know what happened?

I stopped chasing happy.

I was just, ever so simply, happy.

It was a passive response.

It was a gift for surrending, for not trying to work it out, or push a bit harder, it was a reprieve that came from just letting it be.

Sounds easy right? Mmmm.. It’s not.

It takes more courage to be present than it does to block it out. Being present means being so acutely aware of who you are, how you are, and where you are right now, and also being ok with that realization.

The present, like our breath, is always constant, and always here: in fact it’s all we have. When we are present we are allowing ourselves the space to really let our truth speak out, allowing ourselves to be free without any judgement and it is in that freedom, that the bliss takes over.

Finding gratitude for this constant, ever so reassuring present moment, brings a sense of honest and authentic happiness.

It’s not the stories of my past, fabricated and over played, Or the dreams for my future, gleaming in the distance of never never land. No, That’s the nonsense, that’s the made up stuff, and that is where all our worries and stress and pain come from. Rather Happiness comes from a being here, now, present.

It’s a lot easier said than done, the present moment is filled with many distractions, many tugs and pulls in different directions. It is a difficult place to stay in. But when you are there: oh!!! when you allow yourself to be there, What a wonderful place to be.

Sometimes you need a reminder to get there, like the guiding words of my wonderful instructor. “come back to yourself, come back to your breath, leave the stories alone, come home to your present, come home to your self”.

And I did, I came home… And I found my happy… Without the chase.

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